Here is the next letter that my son sent to Royal Mail – the first one is here.
He received a letter back from them telling him:
that they had no problem with mail deliveries in the area;
that his parcel delivery not being made - even though he was in - was due to human error;
that he could send a complaint by FREEPOST – they would send him the complaint form and they explained what freepost means;
that they were unable to get access to his flat;
that they would not handle his complaint anymore because he had now received his parcels, but he still had the option of contacting another overseeing body if he wanted to escalate the complaint.
They asked him not to send them any more emails because the original complaint was over, now his parcels had been delivered. My son sees it differently. He says it is not over because the complaint was also about his mail not arriving and their shoddy service.
So, under the cut, is the next letter. By the way, he incorporated the help of a friend, who finds the rather boring subject of incontinence pads extremely funny. They are such kids when they get together. His friend works in customer relations for a large government sponsored company – (Not Royal Mail).
Apparently, they have already drawn up the next letter.
For those who are wondering about whether I got my parcels or not: My parcels were delivered after I ripped the depot manager a new one and threatened to involve the police when he said I should not expect my mail to be delivered because of staff cutbacks. I quoted Royal Mail policy, contract law and the law pertaining to mail delivery at him and he backed down. I got my mail the next morning. My son mentions me in his letter lol
> From: K**** S**** <*****@yahoo.com>
> Subject: Re: 1-1894142692
> To: "K***** S*******" <email@example.com>
> Date: Sunday, 7 August, 2011, 9:50
> Dear K*****,
> Thank you for your apologies, I appreciate them so
> much it literally hurts. Hurty apologies are the bestest
> ever!! Yeaaaa!! If only apologies could get my mail
> delivered, I would be swimming in letters right now. Don't
> you find it a bit silly to apologise for something you
> haven't done though? You're not my mailman, so why be sorry??
> Unless you are my mailman, of course, in which case...stop
> stealing my mail!! It’s not nice!!!
> You state that you have checked and there are no problems
> delivering to my area, but then at the end of the email you
> state that they are having trouble gaining access to my
> flat. So which is it?? Are they having trouble or not??
>> I personally don't think they are having trouble gaining
> access to my flat at all, as there is a trade button located
> on the outside of the flat. This trade button is super duper
> as it lets anyone in my flat during the day. It’s like it was
> actually invented specifically for mail delivery!! I know,
> crazy eh. What will they think of next? I assume this trade
> button, which is located in plain view, is what the people
> delivering my mail for the past 9 years have been using.
> Maybe I'm wrong in my assumption, however; maybe Royal Mail
> secretly hires wizards to deliver the mail and they can open
> a door by waving a wand at it.
> I'm not quite sure I understand your comment regarding
> package deliveries. You state that "Package deliveries are
> typically brought out by van due to the size and weight of
> the items, with most Delivery Offices now operating a system
> whereby a P739 card is only completed once the item has been
> received back to the local office and resorted, ensuring
> that the item is available for collection." I don't
> understand how a PS3 game can be classed as a heavy item and
> require a van to deliver it. Unless my mailman is one of the
> 7 dwarfs. If so, I feel I should commend your company for the
> equal opportunities they are offering to fictional Disney
> Now let me explain it again to you. Your mail man got out
> of his van, (why he needed a van for a PS3 game is beyond
> me), came into my flat (using that all powerful trade
> button), put a 'P739' card through my door and then fucked
> off. He didn't knock, holler, fart through my letterbox or
> anything. I came to the door to see him leaving my flat with
> my game under his arm. I shouted to him to stop and he just
> carried on walking. I assume he heard me as he was only
> about 10 feet away. I then leaned out my window as he was
> walking back to his van and shouted at him to stop again, but
> he ignored me and got back into his van. There hadn't been a
> previous delivery attempt as I was in the house all that
> week and I'd only bought the game a couple of days
> beforehand. The mailman in question had no intention of
> delivering the item at all. I don't even know why he took it
> out the van with him.
> I don't find it to be human error if a postman just
> puts a ‘sorry you were out’ card through my letterbox. I find
> it to be laziness. Unless my mailman has been stricken with
> this mailman amnesia I've been hearing about, where for at
> least 26 Min's of the day they forget their job and think
> they are a dinosaur. I mean, if he is unfortunate enough to
> have this problem, then all is forgiven. The poor guy.....
> Mailman Dino Amnesia kills more people each year than you
> would believe.
> You state that I can fill out a 'P58' form when my mail
> doesn't arrive. How exactly do I obtain this form?? Do you
> post it to me?? If I don't receive the thing, how can I
> claim for a lost P58 form? Do you send me another P58 form?
> Also, if that one doesn't arrive too, how can I claim for a
> lost lost P58 form?? Don't even get me started on the lost
> lost lost P58 form....I might cry....it’s simply mind
> boggling :(
> Thank you for informing me that 'FREEPOST' doesn't require
> the use of a stamp. I wasn't aware of this as I'm obviously
> far too stupid to grasp the concept of the word 'free' and
> 'post' when used in unison. Now when I
> send off for my free incontinence pad sample I won’t have to
> worry about the postage cost!! You have saved me and my
> leaky bum bum a lot of trouble!!
> Feel free to pass my comments on to the manager of my local
> depot. He seems like he really knows what he's doing. Last
> time my mother spoke to him about an item going missing, he
> told her she shouldn't even expect her mail to be delivered
> in the first place due to government cutbacks. The NHS has
> had a lot of government cutbacks recently too. I hope I
> don't get hit by a car in the near future. By the same logic
> I shouldn't expect an ambulance to turn up either. I'm going to
> have to stop running into oncoming traffic with my eyes
> closed now. Thanks for ruining one of my favourite hobbies.
> Lord K**** S***** of Fawdington